Though the Lord is exalted, he looks kindly on the lowly; though lofty, he sees them from afar. // Psalm 138:6
Anytime I think about flying or am on a plane I get really happy and excited. It's one of those things that reminds me of how small I am. And I love that.
I look down out of the plane window and see a real-life map, physically there, formed on the earth. It blows my mind every time. And it's amazing how quickly everything grows so small. You can hardly see cars - if even those - from the plane window. How incredibly small we are comes in direct contrast with how immense God is.
Last time I flew I was listening to Hillsong United on the plane and the lyrics "this broken heart is all you want" rang through my ears and pierced my heart. He has all of creation, all of the universe and He is Almighty. He doesn't need my love. But He wants it. He wants my broken, bruised, and bloodied mass of a heart more than anything else in existence. He desires me. He wants me, and for that reason, He created me.
If He didn't want me, He wouldn't have made me. He made me in hopes I would want Him, He made me for relationship with Him.
The Lord romances my heart when He reminds me that He chose me. ME. Of all the humans He could have made, He INTENTIONALLY created me. The ever-failing, short-coming, broken mess I am. He wants that. He wants me.
He did the same with you. You were masterfully crafted by the hand of God to be exactly who you are. And He wants nothing more than to know your broken heart. He wants nothing more than genuine relationship with YOU. He wants nothing more than for you to desire Him so you can walk in beautiful communion together. He wants nothing more than for you to let him heal you by letting Him into you.
Psalm 139 tells us just how treasured we ALL are. Formed and knitted together in our mothers womb. Woven before and behind. Thought of more often than there are grains of sand. Cherished beyond measure. Thought of before all creation.
Chosen to live in this exact time. Born into this family, surrounded by these friends, and made with these talents and gifts. Each freckle perfectly placed. Each quirk uniquely fine-tuned to be perfect for who He wanted you to be. And I can't help but think of all the amazing creatures He has made. All the people with un-matched unique beauty. And I can't help but think of how much MORE beautiful we will be when we are completely united with Him. If each one of us is beautiful because we bear His image as we are right now, how much more beautiful will we be when we chose to walk in Him and allow Him to perfect the raw molding of clay we are, bake it in refining flames, and then place it in His home, united completely with Him as the finished masterpiece He intended from before the beginning. When we decide to follow what He has intended for our lives - the hardships and the glory that comes through them - how much more stunning we will be when we walk with Him!
I am astounded that this broken heart is all He wants. Just me. All of me. The good, the bad, and the ugly. HE WANTS IT ALL. He doesn't want me to get my life together and then come in surrender to Him. NO! This is URGENT. With this we CANNOT delay. We don’t have time to try to fix ourselves and make ourselves ‘good enough’ because we won’t ever make it there without Him. Forever is far too long to wait for the salvation of your soul. The fate of your soul is not an after-thought or a side-issue. The fate of your soul is of immense importance. It is the utmost priority to Him. To HIM! There is no time - because all we have is right here and right now. That is all we are promised.
Jesus answered them, ‘It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.’ // Luke 5:31
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” // John 14:6
Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So BE EARNEST and repent. Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me. // Revelation 3:19 (emphasis added)
He just wants you to say I believe and mean it, and from there, He will help you get your life together. He will schedule the spring-cleaning of your soul. He will make it all done in perfect timing. PERFECT TIMING.
For the revelation awaits the appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it will linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay. // Habakuk 2:3
You may feel like it’s not happening quick enough. Like in this moment you are not supposed to be where you are. You may question why he took you down a back alley-way over a brick fence, down into the sewer and then out into a busy crowded city street where you had to walk 60 miles in the blistering heat before you arrived at the gorgeous and breezy meadow, when you own a car and could have hopped in and gotten there in 30 minutes instead of 30 days with a lot less hassle along the way. But there is purpose in that. in every moment, every second, wherever and whenever you are, there is a purpose before, in, and after it. Every weird and dizzying part of the road was necessary to make you the living road map he intends you be.
About one year ago, I was at a women’s conference that my church, Vital Cross, was hosting for all the women in our community. One of the beautiful women in our church spoke on what living a life with purpose included, and as an exercise, we were instructed to make a vision statement for our lives. She gave us some helpful tips on how to make it, but ultimately reinforced that it’s up to you. We did some crafting and then shared our vision statements with each other. They were so wide-ranged, but each one so beautiful. Some more specific and detail-oriented while others were more of an enveloping, blanket statement.
During the time we had to craft and pray and think, one phrase popped into my head, and it hasn’t left since. At first I thought it too simple to work, like I wasn’t putting enough effort into what I wanted for my life (for those of you who don’t know me, I’m a terrible goal-setter) but I just felt the Lord saying “This is it for you.” So I went with it.
“Be a living road map.”
That’s all He told me. That’s all I wrote.
Be a living road map.
On my heart he placed a deeper meaning. One I’ve shared with you throughout this whole post. He said, “Everywhere you go, everyone you meat, everything you say, and all you experience; every ounce of that has made you who you are, is who you are today, and is what will change you tomorrow. Every moment is one dash in the line placed on the map. Your life is a journey, but not just a journey for yourself to learn from, but a map for others to look at. A map for others to see and learn from and grow in and praise me (Jesus) for." In every instance I can stop and say “*points to spot on map* this is where I’ve been, this is what I’ve learned through these people that I met and my surroundings in this place. *points to different place on map* This is where the Lord changed me in this way. *points to present mark on map* This is what I am going through now and what He is continuously teaching me, and finally, *points to compass* that is where i am going. Wherever he calls me next, however he plans to take me and however long it may take. But I am going to HIM.”
The compass is Jesus and every point extending from there speaks of the cross, of the Father, and how Glorious and Almighty He is.
I am a living road map. And by the end of my time on earth i hope, and pray, and have every faith that the people who He allows to read the map of my life see who He is through it. That they would find Him because of how i found Him and what He’s shown me since then. That he will use my shredded, mangled, almost unrecognizable heart to tell someone, even if it’s just one person, that the same love and grace, and everything that He has done in me, he wants to do in them. That as much as He wants me, He wants them. So that they may have hope by looking at where I’ve come from and seeing where i am and where i am going and being able to say “If He can do that for her, why couldn’t He, why WOULDN’T He, for me?”
He wants YOU.
Be a living road map. The cross is where life begins and the empty grave is where it leads. Claim that victory that the Lord proclaims true of ALL who would call on His name. Claim it right now. Right here.
Everyone’s road map will look different. But yours will surely speak just as loudly about the Creator and Mapper of our lives as mine will.
No matter if you already believe and follow, never have, have walked away, or have suddenly woken up to find that you thought you were following but somehow you fell asleep and lost sight of Him, His arms are ALWAYS open - wider than the horizon.
I write this, not only in faith that His word never returns void, but also to remind myself of this truth. Because I struggle daily. Because I stumble daily and am in CONSTANT need of grace and mercy and love. Because I too often believe that He couldn't possibly want my shattered, battered, ugly heart.